Whilst searching for a MacBook on Ebay, I came across this little gem and had to share it.
HORIZONTAL VERTICAL PORTABLE LAPTOP BED STAND
This impressed me so much I made a late-night-TV-commercial script for it!
** Disclaimer: I am only poking fun at late-night TV commercials and in general anybody who is simply too lazy to get out of bed to use their computer. Anybody who has a physical need for a device like this, I am in no way making fun of you.
[fade in, queue music]
[Begin Late Night TV Announcer Voice]
Folks we’ve all been there. You’ve been there. I’ve been there.
Wondering how much time we waste EVERYDAY on boring activities like walking across the room, when we could be gaming. Am I right?!?!
(cut to a shot of the studio audience vigorously nodding, looking at their friends and smiling in agreement)
Well your problems are over! (huge cheesy smile) Because the HORIZONTAL VERTICAL PORTABLE LAPTOP BED STAND solves all of that!
(crowd cheers in background … and I begin contemplating never watching TV again)
Think of all the time this would save by not having to get up out of bed to play a game, check your social media sites or catch up on email. How much time really do you waste each day, standing up, getting dressed, walking across the room … when you could be focusing on these much more important activities?!?!
(more cheers from them, enthusiastic nods of agreement and more glaring from me)
Here are some problems we likely all face .. each and everyday. Now let’s see if the HORIZONTAL VERTICAL PORTABLE LAPTOP BED STAND can handle ALL these situations! Ready? Alright, let’s see if this amazing product is up for the challenge.
(fake tension from the crowd, studio goes nearly silent other than concerned murmurs)
You need to answer one more in-game message but don’t feel like getting up. Problem … Solved!
(small gasps of surprise)
Tired of sitting there with numb butt-cheeks but really need to grind out one more level in your favorite MMO? THIS is your answer!
(more gasps and on actual whoop!)
And finally, with our new catheter option, you can even skip the bathroom!
(cheers erupt and I pick up the phone to call my tv provider)
[End Announcer Voice]
[ending music, fade to black]
Meanwhile back at my house ….
Hello? Mr Satellite/Cable Company?
Yes Mr Horton?
/facepunchThroughPhone
Then I turn off the TV, pick up my Windows Surface, head to bed and watch another episode of Arrow on Netflix. Laptop stands .. pffft! 🙂